Short answer
No. Your language, your family name and your respect for elders stay. So do your ties with your parents and relatives, New Year reunions, red envelopes and Chinese food, made halal (lawful for Muslims). The Qur'an counts the variety of languages among God's (﷾) signs (30:22). It says the most honoured person is the most righteous, not any nation (49:13). Some things do change, and it is fair to name them. A Muslim eats no pork, drinks no alcohol and does not gamble, whether at mahjong, cards or anything else. He makes no offerings and burns no incense at temples or before ancestral tablets. Your duty to your parents stays as a command of God (﷾), even if they never become Muslim (31:15). Chinese-speaking Muslims, the Hui, have lived this way for centuries. Islam is a complete way of life, and caring for your family is part of it.
Full explanation
What stays
Islam does not ask you to stop being Chinese, or to become an Arab. The Qur'an counts the variety of languages and colours among the signs of God (30:22). It says God (﷾) made people into nations and tribes "that ye may know each other" (49:13). So your language and your family name stay yours. Chinese cooking stays too, made halal, which means lawful as Islam defines it. The Qur'an tells believers to eat of the good things God (﷾) has provided, and to thank Him (2:172). A Muslim begins a meal with the name of Allah (﷾), as the Prophet (ﷺ) taught a boy at his table. The New Year reunion with the family stays. Red envelopes are gifts of money, and gifts are part of Muslim life: the Prophet (ﷺ) accepted gifts and gave in return. The gift stays, but Islam does not hold that a colour or a number brings luck. A Muslim looks to God (﷾) for good fortune (65:3). Respect for elders stays as well.
“And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the variations in your languages and your colours: verily in that are Signs for those who know.”
“O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).”
“O ye who believe! Eat of the good things that We have provided for you, and be grateful to Allah, if it is Him ye worship.”
Umar ibn Abi Salama reports that, as a boy in the Prophet's (ﷺ) care, his hand roamed around the dish while he ate. The Prophet (ﷺ) told him to mention the name of Allah, to eat with his right hand, and to eat from the part of the dish nearest to him. He says he kept to this from then on.
Aisha reports that the Prophet (ﷺ) used to accept gifts and to give something in return.
“And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion.”
Your duty to your parents stays
Chinese families have long held that honouring parents comes first. In Chinese this is xiao (filial piety), a child's love, respect and care for his parents. Islam keeps this duty, and makes it a command of God (﷾). The Qur'an puts kindness to parents beside the worship of God (﷾), in one sentence (17:23). It forbids even a word of contempt to them in old age. The duty does not end if they are not Muslim. If they press a child to join others with God (﷾) in worship, he does not obey them in that. Yet he must "bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration)" (31:15). The Prophet (ﷺ) told Asma to keep good relations with her mother, who was still a polytheist. The page "Filial piety: does Islam honour parents too?" sets this out in full.
“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood."”
“"But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that ye did."”
“We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not. Ye have (all) to return to me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all that ye did.”
Asma, daughter of Abu Bakr, reports that her mother, who was still a polytheist (mushrika), came to visit her in the Prophet's (ﷺ) lifetime, hoping for her daughter's kindness. Asma asked the Prophet (ﷺ) whether she should keep good relations with her mother. He said yes: keep good relations with your mother.
What changes, named plainly
It is fair to say what does change. First, food and drink. The Qur'an forbids "the flesh of swine" (2:173), so a Muslim eats no pork. It forbids intoxicants (5:90), and the Prophet (ﷺ) said every intoxicant is forbidden. So a Muslim drinks no wine, beer or baijiu (Chinese spirits), whatever the occasion. Second, gambling. The same verse forbids "Intoxicants and gambling" (5:90), so a Muslim does not gamble, whether at mahjong, cards or anything else. Third, worship. Prayer, offerings and bowing in worship are for God (﷾) alone (72:18; 6:162). So a Muslim burns no incense and makes no offering at a temple or before an ancestral tablet. He leaves out the religious parts of festivals. One example is the offering to the Kitchen God (Zao Jun, the god of the household hearth) before New Year. None of this is about being Chinese. Each rule is the same for Muslims of every nation.
“He hath only forbidden you dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and that on which any other name hath been invoked besides that of Allah. But if one is forced by necessity, without wilful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits,- then is he guiltless. For Allah is Oft-forgiving Most Merciful.”
“O ye who believe! Intoxicants and gambling, (dedication of) stones, and (divination by) arrows, are an abomination,- of Satan's handwork: eschew such (abomination), that ye may prosper.”
Ibn Umar reports that the Prophet (ﷺ) said every intoxicant is khamr (wine) and every intoxicant is forbidden, and that whoever drinks wine in this world and dies addicted to it, without repenting, will not drink it in the Hereafter.
“"And the places of worship are for Allah (alone): So invoke not any one along with Allah;”
“Say: "Truly, my prayer and my service of sacrifice, my life and my death, are (all) for Allah, the Cherisher of the Worlds: No partner hath He: this am I commanded, and I am the first of those who bow to His will.”
Describes how families in Fuzhou honoured the kitchen god. On the evening of the 23rd or 24th day of the twelfth month, before New Year, they set out food, tea, candles and incense before his picture, and the head of the family knelt and bowed. The kitchen god was believed to go up to Heaven and report on the family's conduct during the year.
Your ancestors
Many readers ask first about the family's ancestors. Islam keeps the remembering and changes the asking. A Muslim can still visit the family graves, clean them, and remember the dead and his own death. He keeps close to the people his parents loved. What he gives up is prayer and offerings to the dead, because worship goes to God (﷾) alone (72:18). For a parent who died a believer, a child prays to God (﷾) for them. A Muslim does not ask God's (﷾) forgiveness for a relative who died outside Islam (9:113). The verse gives its condition: "after it is clear to them that they are companions of the Fire". That is a rule for his own prayers, not a verdict on anyone. God (﷾) visits no one with His wrath "until We had sent a messenger" (17:15). And "Allah is never unjust in the least degree" (4:40). No Muslim may declare any particular person's fate. The page "How should we honour our ancestors?" explains this with care.
“"And the places of worship are for Allah (alone): So invoke not any one along with Allah;”
“It is not fitting, for the Prophet and those who believe, that they should pray for forgiveness for Pagans, even though they be of kin, after it is clear to them that they are companions of the Fire.”
“Who receiveth guidance, receiveth it for his own benefit: who goeth astray doth so to his own loss: No bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another: nor would We visit with Our Wrath until We had sent a messenger (to give warning).”
“Allah is never unjust in the least degree: If there is any good (done), He doubleth it, and giveth from His own presence a great reward.”
Questions that depend on the case
Some matters are not settled by a short answer. One is joining in festival greetings. Another is going with the family to the temple at New Year. Another is a bow of greeting to elders at New Year. Another is a family funeral held at a temple. Another is a family meal where pork or alcohol is on the table. The principle is the same in each: worship is for God (﷾) alone, and family ties and kindness are kept (72:18; 31:15). How it applies depends on what is done and what is meant. This page gives general information and no ruling on them. For your own situation, ask a qualified scholar. It helps to ask one who knows both Islam and Chinese family life.
“"And the places of worship are for Allah (alone): So invoke not any one along with Allah;”
“"But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that ye did."”
Chinese-speaking Muslims
The Hui are Chinese Muslims, and most speak Chinese as their mother tongue. Many of their forebears came from abroad and spoke Arabic or Persian. Over time their families came to speak Chinese. Over the centuries their families became part of Chinese life while keeping their faith. This shows that a person can live as both. It is not the reason to become Muslim. The page "How did Islam come to China?" tells the history.
Describes the Hui as China's Chinese-speaking Muslims: mainly Chinese speakers, though a few small groups among them use other languages. Says that throughout the Tang, and especially in the Song (960-1279), Muslim merchant firms kept more or less permanent homes or agents in Chang'an, Quanzhou, Hangzhou, Kaifeng, Yangzhou and Guangzhou. Says these merchants kept their own languages and must have learned Chinese for the markets.
Islam's answer: a whole way of life, with family life in it
Islam asks you to change whom you worship, not who your people are. Its message was never for one nation. The Qur'an tells the Prophet (ﷺ) to say, "O men! I am sent unto you all" (7:158). It calls him "a universal (Messenger) to men" (34:28). Islam is a deen, a complete way of life: belief, worship, family and character together. The Qur'an says, "Enter into Islam whole-heartedly" (2:208), and that God (﷾) has perfected this way of life (5:3). The page "What is Islam?" shows it in one place. Islam does not ask you to take its word on trust. The Qur'an invites you to test it (2:23). It calls Muhammad (ﷺ) the Seal of the Prophets, the last of them (33:40). Read it, and ask whether it is from the Lord of the Worlds. The Qur'an tells you how to treat your family along the way (31:15).
“Say: "O men! I am sent unto you all, as the Messenger of Allah, to Whom belongeth the dominion of the heavens and the earth: there is no god but He: it is He That giveth both life and death. So believe in Allah and His Messenger, the Unlettered Prophet, who believeth in Allah and His words: follow him that (so) ye may be guided."”
“We have not sent thee but as a universal (Messenger) to men, giving them glad tidings, and warning them (against sin), but most men understand not.”
“O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy.”
“This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.”
“And if ye are in doubt as to what We have revealed from time to time to Our servant, then produce a Sura like thereunto; and call your witnesses or helpers (If there are any) besides Allah, if your (doubts) are true.”
“Muhammad is not the father of any of your men, but (he is) the Messenger of Allah, and the Seal of the Prophets: and Allah has full knowledge of all things.”
“"But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that ye did."”
Point by point
Qur'an 49:13 — Surat al-Hujurat (The Inner Apartments), verse 13
“O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).”
Cited for
Islam is an Arab religion. Becoming Muslim means becoming Arab.
The response
The Qur'an says God (﷾) made people into nations and tribes "that ye may know each other". The most honoured is the most righteous (49:13). The Prophet (ﷺ) was sent to all people (7:158). Salman, one of his Companions, was a Persian. The Prophet (ﷺ) said men of Salman's people would reach faith even if it were as far away as the Pleiades, a group of stars.
Where it lands — Islam asks for one worship, not one nation.
Qur'an 12:2 — Surat Yusuf (Joseph), verse 2
“We have sent it down as an Arabic Qur'an, in order that ye may learn wisdom.”
Cited for
Muslims pray in Arabic, so a Chinese Muslim gives up his own language before God.
The response
The Qur'an was revealed in Arabic (12:2), so Muslims of every nation recite the same words of it in prayer. That keeps one Book the same for all. Outside the prayer, a Muslim calls on God (﷾) in Chinese or any language, at any time. God (﷾) says, "I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me" (2:186). The Qur'an counts the variety of languages among God's (﷾) signs (30:22).
Where it lands — One Book is recited in the words it was revealed in. Every language stays among God's (﷾) signs.
Qur'an 5:90 — Surat al-Ma'ida (The Table), verse 90
“O ye who believe! Intoxicants and gambling, (dedication of) stones, and (divination by) arrows, are an abomination,- of Satan's handwork: eschew such (abomination), that ye may prosper.”
Cited for
A drink and a game of mahjong for money at New Year are harmless. A faith that forbids them is against Chinese culture.
The response
The rule is about drink and gambling, not about a people (5:90). The next verse gives the reason: Satan wants "to excite enmity and hatred between you, with intoxicants and gambling" (5:91). They also turn people from the remembrance of God (﷾) and from prayer. The first Muslims were Arabs, and wine was part of their life. When it was forbidden, the wine of one house in Medina was poured out and ran in the streets (Bukhari 2464). The Prophet (ﷺ) said every intoxicant is khamr (wine), and every intoxicant is forbidden (Muslim 2003).
Where it lands — The same rules bind Muslims of every nation, Arabs first.
Qur'an 31:15 — Surat Luqman (Luqman), verse 15
“"But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that ye did."”
Cited for
My parents will see it as a betrayal of the family.
The response
Islam commands a child to keep his parents company with justice and consideration, even if they are not Muslim (31:15). The Prophet (ﷺ) told Asma to keep good relations with her mother (Bukhari 2620). Abu Huraira asked the Prophet (ﷺ) to pray that God (﷾) guide his mother, and she became Muslim (Muslim 2491). A Muslim child stays close, stays kind, and prays for his parents' guidance.
Where it lands — Becoming Muslim does not end a child's duty to his parents. It makes that duty a command of God (﷾).
Qur'an 33:5 — Surat al-Ahzab (The Clans), verse 5
“Call them by (the names of) their fathers: that is juster in the sight of Allah. But if ye know not their father's (names, call them) your Brothers in faith, or your maulas. But there is no blame on you if ye make a mistake therein: (what counts is) the intention of your hearts: and Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.”
Cited for
If my child becomes Muslim, no one will light incense for us. Our family line ends.
The response
The line goes on. A Muslim keeps his father's family name: the Qur'an says, "Call them by (the names of) their fathers" (33:5). His children are your grandchildren. As long as you live, he must keep you company with justice and consideration (31:15). He can visit the family graves and remember those who went before. What he gives up is incense and offerings, because worship goes to God (﷾) alone (72:18).
Where it lands — The name, the line and the love go on. Worship goes to God (﷾) alone.
Perspectives
Chinese tradition: culture and family come together
For many Chinese families, the New Year rites, the ancestral tablet and the temple visit are part of being Chinese. They are also part of being a good child. To step back from them can feel like stepping away from the family.
Being Chinese means keeping the family's rites. Someone who gives them up is no longer fully Chinese.
Rebuttal
Islam does not measure anyone by the rites of a nation, Arab or Chinese. The most honoured is the most righteous (49:13). Your language, family name, family ties and the New Year reunion stay, and languages are among God's (﷾) signs (30:22). What changes is worship, which goes to God (﷾) alone, for Muslims of every nation (72:18).
Offerings and incense at New Year are custom and good manners, not worship.
Rebuttal
Islam looks at the act, not at the name it is given. An offering or incense given to a god or to the dead is worship. The Qur'an says: "my prayer and my service of sacrifice, my life and my death, are (all) for Allah" (6:162).
My parents will feel rejected if I become Muslim. A good child does not hurt his parents.
Rebuttal
Islam does not ask anyone to leave his parents. He must keep them company with justice and consideration (31:15). The Prophet (ﷺ) told Asma to keep good relations with her polytheist mother (Bukhari 2620).
Critics: Islam takes a convert from his people
Some critics say that becoming Muslim means taking on Arab ways and leaving one's own people and family behind.
Islam is an Arab religion. A Chinese person who becomes Muslim takes on Arab culture and prays in Arabic.
Rebuttal
The Qur'an was revealed in Arabic (12:2), so all Muslims recite the same words in prayer. That makes no one an Arab. The most honoured is the most righteous, of any nation (49:13).
Islam cuts a convert off from his family: he cannot even inherit from his parents.
Rebuttal
The rule is real: a Muslim does not inherit from a non-Muslim, nor a non-Muslim from a Muslim (Bukhari 6764). It concerns inheritance, and it runs both ways. Gifts and kindness are not cut: Umar sent a gift to his brother who was not yet Muslim (Bukhari 2619; 60:8). A gift made in life is not inheritance, and it is not cut.
The Islamic perspective
A Chinese Muslim keeps his language, family name, family, food made halal and respect for elders. His duty to his parents stays as a command of God (﷾). What changes is clear: no pork, alcohol or gambling, and all worship goes to God (﷾) alone.
Languages and colours are among God's (﷾) signs. Nations were made so that people may know one another, and the most honoured with Him is the most righteous.
The Qur'an commands kindness to parents beside the worship of God (﷾). A child does not obey parents who press him to join others with God (﷾), yet keeps them company with justice.
The Qur'an forbids the flesh of swine, intoxicants and gambling, for Muslims of every nation.
Prayer, offerings and bowing in worship belong to God (﷾) alone.
The Prophet (ﷺ) was sent to all people, and Islam is a complete way of life.