Short answer
No. A good family and society are worth keeping, and Islam commands the same kinds of duty to parents, kin, neighbours and those in authority. Confucian teachers know these duties well. They teach them through the classics, the rites and the conscience, and Confucius revered Heaven above them. But Mengzi (Mencius) says Heaven does not speak. Islam's difference is that God (﷾) has spoken, in words, through His messengers. He has said what comes first: to worship Him alone, then to do good to parents and kin (4:36). He has said that each person will answer to Him for himself, father, son and ruler alike (6:164). Islam is a complete way of life, and the family belongs inside it. The Qur'an invites everyone to test it.
Full explanation
The five relationships and the rites
Mengzi (Mencius) was a leading teacher in the school of Kongzi (Confucius). He tells how the ancient sage Shun set Xie (Hsieh) to teach the relations of humanity. There are five: father and son, ruler and minister, husband and wife, old and young, and friends. Each has its own duty. Confucius taught that perfect virtue (ren, being fully humane) means mastering oneself and returning to propriety. Propriety is li, the rites: the rules of conduct and ceremony that give each relationship its form.
“between father and son, there should be affection; between sovereign and minister, righteousness; between husband and wife, attention to their separate functions; between old and young, a proper order; and between friends, fidelity.”
“To subdue one's self and return to propriety, is perfect virtue.”
The duties run both ways
These duties are not one-way. Confucius told a duke that good government means each person is what his place requires. The ruler must be a ruler, and the minister a minister. The father must be a father, and the son a son. This page grants that. It does not claim that Islam alone makes duties run both ways.
“There is government, when the prince is prince, and the minister is minister; when the father is father, and the son is son.”
Heaven above the relationships
Confucius took Heaven (Tian, spelled T'ien by older writers) seriously. He said that a man who offends against Heaven has no one to whom he can pray. Mencius adds that Heaven does not speak. Asked whether Heaven gave Shun the throne with set instructions, he said no. Heaven showed its will through Shun's own conduct and his handling of affairs. In Mencius's account, then, Heaven gives no words. People learn their duties from the sages, the rites and their own hearts, and read Heaven's will in events.
“He who offends against Heaven has none to whom he can pray.”
“Heaven does not speak. It simply showed its will by his personal conduct and his conduct of affairs.”
Islam keeps these duties, and puts one first
Islam also commands kindness in the family and among neighbours. But it puts one duty before all the others. The Qur'an says first to serve Allah (﷾) and join no partners with Him. Then it says to do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need and neighbours, near and strangers. In Islam every other duty rests on that first one. The Prophet (ﷺ) said that the angel Gabriel kept urging him to treat neighbours well, until he thought they might become heirs. The Qur'an says God (﷾) made people into nations and tribes, so that they may know each other. It also commands obeying those in authority, with obedience to Allah (﷾) and His Messenger first.
“Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allah loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;-”
Aisha reports that the Prophet (ﷺ) said the angel Gabriel kept urging him to treat neighbours well, so often that he thought Gabriel would make neighbours heirs.
“O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).”
“O ye who believe! Obey Allah, and obey the Messenger, and those charged with authority among you. If ye differ in anything among yourselves, refer it to Allah and His Messenger, if ye do believe in Allah and the Last Day: That is best, and most suitable for final determination.”
The same commands for everyone
In Islam these duties are commands from God (﷾), and they bind everyone. The Prophet (ﷺ) said a Muslim must listen to and obey those in authority, even when he does not like the order. The one limit is sin: no one is obeyed in disobeying God (﷾). The Qur'an also tells believers to stand firm for justice, even against themselves or their parents. So a father, a ruler and the believer himself all stand under the same commands.
Abdullah ibn Umar reports that the Prophet (ﷺ) said a Muslim must listen and obey those in authority, whether he likes it or not, unless he is ordered to disobey God. If he is ordered to commit a sin, there is no listening and no obeying.
“O ye who believe! stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swerve, and if ye distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.”
Each person answers to God (﷾)
The Qur'an says that every soul bears the result of its own deeds, and no one else's. No bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another. It also says that an atom's weight of good will be seen, and so will an atom's weight of evil. So a father answers to God (﷾) for his own acts, and so does a ruler, and so does a son. This page declares no one's fate. That belongs to God (﷾) alone. He is never unjust in the least degree, and He punishes no one before a messenger has come.
“Say: "Shall I seek for (my) Cherisher other than Allah, when He is the Cherisher of all things (that exist)? Every soul draws the meed of its acts on none but itself: no bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another. Your goal in the end is towards Allah: He will tell you the truth of the things wherein ye disputed."”
“Then shall anyone who has done an atom's weight of good, see it! And anyone who has done an atom's weight of evil, shall see it.”
“Allah is never unjust in the least degree: If there is any good (done), He doubleth it, and giveth from His own presence a great reward.”
“Who receiveth guidance, receiveth it for his own benefit: who goeth astray doth so to his own loss: No bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another: nor would We visit with Our Wrath until We had sent a messenger (to give warning).”
The Lord has spoken
The difference is not that Islam cares more for the family. Nor is it that only Muslims know right from wrong. The Qur'an says every soul was given a sense of its wrong and its right. The difference is that God (﷾) has spoken in words. The Qur'an names three ways He speaks to a human being: by inspiration, from behind a veil, or by sending a messenger. So His will is not left to be read from events. He has said what He asks, what comes first, and that each person will return to Him.
“By the Soul, and the proportion and order given to it; And its enlightenment as to its wrong and its right;-”
“It is not fitting for a man that Allah should speak to him except by inspiration, or from behind a veil, or by the sending of a messenger to reveal, with Allah's permission, what Allah wills: for He is Most High, Most Wise.”
Islam's answer: a complete way of life
Islam (deen, a way of life) is not a belief kept apart from the rest of life. It is a complete way of life: belief, worship, law, family and character together. The family and society are inside it, not outside it. The Qur'an says God (﷾) has perfected this way for believers and chosen Islam for them. It tells believers to enter it whole-heartedly. The page "What is Islam?" shows the whole in one place. The Qur'an invites everyone to test it, so read it and test it. Then consider the Messenger it names, Muhammad (ﷺ), the Seal of the Prophets, meaning the last of them.
“This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.”
“O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy.”
“And if ye are in doubt as to what We have revealed from time to time to Our servant, then produce a Sura like thereunto; and call your witnesses or helpers (If there are any) besides Allah, if your (doubts) are true.”
“Muhammad is not the father of any of your men, but (he is) the Messenger of Allah, and the Seal of the Prophets: and Allah has full knowledge of all things.”
Seven questions and replies
Mencius 3A.4 — Book 3, part 1, chapter 4, para 8
“between father and son, there should be affection; between sovereign and minister, righteousness; between husband and wife, attention to their separate functions; between old and young, a proper order; and between friends, fidelity.”
Cited for
Look at the families and societies shaped by Confucian teaching. They are as orderly and caring as any. Surely that shows the teaching is enough.
The response
A teaching is not proved or disproved by how its followers live, whether Confucian or Muslim. A good society is a blessing, but it does not answer the question. God (﷾) made people into nations and tribes so that they may know each other, and the most honoured with Him is the most righteous (49:13). Each person will answer to Him for himself (6:164).
Where it lands — The test is not whose society is better. It is what God (﷾) asks of each person.
Analects 17.19 — Book 17, chapter 19
“The Master said, 'I would prefer not speaking.' Tsze-kung said, 'If you, Master, do not speak, what shall we, your disciples, have to record?' The Master said, 'Does Heaven speak? The four seasons pursue their courses, and all things are continually being produced, but does Heaven say anything?'”
Cited for
Confucius said Heaven teaches without words: the four seasons run their course, and all things are produced (Analects 17.19). A God who speaks in words is a smaller idea.
The response
Islam agrees that creation speaks without words. The heavens, the earth and the change of night and day are signs for people of understanding (3:190). But signs show a Maker and a purpose (3:191). They do not say in detail how to worship Him, or what He will ask on the last day. For that He sent messengers, so that no one has a plea against Him (4:165). The last message is for all people, in China as everywhere (7:158; 34:28).
Where it lands — Creation shows the Maker. His messengers tell what He asks.
Analects 3.13 — Book 3, chapter 13
“He who offends against Heaven has none to whom he can pray.”
Cited for
Confucians already have a judge: Heaven. A man who offends against Heaven has no one to whom he can pray.
The response
Confucius did revere Heaven. Mencius says Heaven does not speak, and shows its will through a person's conduct and affairs (5A.5). Islam teaches that God (﷾) has spoken in words (42:51). He has told us what He asks, and that each will answer to Him.
Where it lands — Both look above the relationships. Islam holds that the Judge has also told us what He asks.
Analects 12.11 — Book 12, chapter 11
“There is government, when the prince is prince, and the minister is minister; when the father is father, and the son is son.”
Cited for
Confucius already said the duties run both ways. Islam adds nothing here.
The response
The first part is right: the duties run both ways, and Islam does not claim otherwise. But Islam does add something: a Judge above every party. God's (﷾) commands bind father and ruler as they bind everyone (4:135), and each answers to God (﷾) for himself (6:164).
Where it lands — Duties that run both ways are common ground. Islam's difference is the Judge above them, and what He has said.
Qur'an 4:135 — Surat al-Nisa (The Women), verse 135
“O ye who believe! stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swerve, and if ye distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.”
Cited for
Someone still has to say what God asks. In practice people judge, just as in the Confucian order.
The response
People do explain and apply God's (﷾) commands in this life, and they can err. But the core duties are written in a Book that anyone can read, and they bind the one who judges as well (4:135). Above every human judge is God. He "will tell you the truth of the things wherein ye disputed" (6:164), and each person answers to Him.
Where it lands — Human judges can err. The final Judge does not.
Sahih al-Bukhari 7144 — Kitab al-Ahkam (Book of Judgments), hadith 7144
Abdullah ibn Umar reports that the Prophet (ﷺ) said a Muslim must listen and obey those in authority, whether he likes it or not, unless he is ordered to disobey God. If he is ordered to commit a sin, there is no listening and no obeying.
Cited for
Islam also tells you to obey those in authority, even when you dislike the order. That is the same ranking of ruler and ruled as Confucius.
The response
Islam does command obeying those in authority (4:59). It sets one limit: no one is obeyed in a sin against God (Bukhari 7144). It also puts justice above family and rank (4:135).
Where it lands — Order is common ground. The limit, and the Judge who sets it, are Islam's difference.
Mencius 3A.4 — Book 3, part 1, chapter 4, para 8
“between father and son, there should be affection; between sovereign and minister, righteousness; between husband and wife, attention to their separate functions; between old and young, a proper order; and between friends, fidelity.”
Cited for
Keep the five relationships well and you have done your whole duty. Nothing more needs to be added.
The response
Islam keeps these duties, and joins them to what they rest on: the worship of God (﷾). The Qur'an sets kindness to parents, kin and neighbours beside the worship of God (4:36). Islam is a complete way of life, with family and society inside it (5:3; 2:208).
Where it lands — In Islam family duty and worship belong to one way of life, not two.
Perspectives
Confucian
A good life is a life of well-kept relationships. Mencius names five: father and son, ruler and minister, husband and wife, old and young, and friends. Each has its own duty, and each side owes the other. The rites give each its form, and Heaven stands above all.
Many today read the Confucian way as needing no God above it. If each person keeps his duty in the five relationships, with the rites to give it form, harmony follows (Mencius 3A.4; Analects 12.1).
Rebuttal
These are real duties, and Islam keeps them. But Islam puts first the duty to worship God (﷾) alone (4:36). And each person, father or ruler, answers to God (﷾) for how he kept his duties (4:135; 6:164).
The duties already run both ways. Confucius said good government needs the ruler to be a ruler and the father a father (Analects 12.11). So no outside judge is needed.
Rebuttal
That the duties run both ways is granted. But when both sides fail, someone must judge. In Islam God (﷾) has given His commands in a Book, the same for every party, and each answers to Him (4:135; 6:164).
Heaven is the judge. A man who offends against Heaven has no one to whom he can pray (Analects 3.13), so the relationships do answer to a higher power.
Rebuttal
Confucius did revere Heaven. But Mencius says Heaven does not speak; people read its will in conduct and events (5A.5). Islam teaches that God (﷾) has spoken in words, through His messengers, and told us what He asks (42:51).
The Confucian way orders a family and a society by roles. It is not a faith. Confucius answered a duke about government by naming roles, not beliefs (Analects 12.11).
Rebuttal
Roles alone do not say who gave them, or what we owe to the One above them. In Islam the first duty comes before every role: to worship God (﷾) alone (4:36). The duties to family and neighbours follow. Islam is a complete way of life (deen), with all of these together (5:3; 2:208).
The Islamic perspective
Islam commands the duties of family and neighbourhood, and puts first the duty to worship God (﷾) alone. God's (﷾) commands bind father, son and ruler alike, and each person answers to God (﷾) for himself. God (﷾) has spoken in words, through His messengers. All of it is one complete way of life.
The Qur'an commands the worship of God (﷾) alone, then kindness to parents, kin, orphans, the needy and neighbours. The Prophet (ﷺ) urged good treatment of neighbours. And the Qur'an says God (﷾) made people into nations and tribes to know each other.
The Qur'an tells believers to stand firm for justice, even against themselves or their parents. A Muslim obeys those in authority, but not when ordered to disobey God (﷾).
Each person answers to God (﷾) for his own deeds. No bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another, and an atom's weight of good or evil will be seen.
God (﷾) has spoken to human beings in words, by inspiration, from behind a veil, or by sending a messenger. So His will is not left to be read from events.
Islam (deen) is a complete way of life, with the family and society inside it. The Qur'an invites everyone to test it, and names Muhammad (ﷺ) the Seal of the Prophets.