Short answer
Be a real friend, whether or not your friend ever becomes Muslim. Begin with the Creator, not with "religion", and present Islam as a complete way of life (deen). Start from what you share, such as cleanliness, thanks before a meal and respect for parents. Speak honestly and gently (16:125). Never mock a shrine, a kami (a sacred power of Shinto) or a family custom (6:108). Do not bring up history or politics yourself. If your friend asks whether you are trying to convert them, say no: only God (﷾) guides hearts (28:56). You are making them aware of Islam in a friendly discussion, not a debate, and the choice is theirs (2:256). If they say no, end as Muslims are taught: "To you be your Way, and to me mine" (109:6). Then keep the friendship. Read the pages written for Japanese readers together, and let the Qur'an speak for itself.
Full explanation
Be a true friend first
This guide is for talking with Japanese friends who are not Muslim, whatever they believe or practise. Be a real friend, whether or not your friend ever becomes Muslim. Never befriend someone only to convert them. The Qur'an allows Muslims to deal kindly and justly with those who do not fight them over faith, and says that God (﷾) loves the just. It also commands justice to everyone, even towards people who hate them (5:8). Guidance is God's (﷾) to give, not yours. The Qur'an tells the Prophet (ﷺ), "thou wilt not be able to guide every one, whom thou lovest". Your part is to speak clearly and kindly, and to stay a friend whatever the answer.
“Allah forbids you not, with regard to those who fight you not for (your) Faith nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: for Allah loveth those who are just.”
“It is true thou wilt not be able to guide every one, whom thou lovest; but Allah guides those whom He will and He knows best those who receive guidance.”
“Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things.”
“O ye who believe! stand out firmly for Allah, as witnesses to fair dealing, and let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice. Be just: that is next to piety: and fear Allah. For Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.”
Begin with the Creator, not with "religion"
Your friend may say they have no religion (mushukyo). Your friend may also visit a shrine at New Year, or say itadakimasu ("I humbly receive") before a meal. Saying "no religion" and keeping a custom can sit side by side. To some, the word for religion (shukyo) suggests an organisation to join. So do not start with "religion". Start with the questions underneath: Who made the world? Who hears us? What comes after death? The Qur'an asks, "Were they created of nothing, or were they themselves the creators?" It also asks, "Did ye then think that We had created you in jest"? Then present Islam as it is: a complete way of life (deen). Belief, worship, family and character belong together in it.
“Were they created of nothing, or were they themselves the creators? Or did they create the heavens and the earth? Nay, they have no firm belief.”
“"Did ye then think that We had created you in jest, and that ye would not be brought back to Us (for account)?"”
“This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.”
“O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy.”
Common ground: values you share
Islam teaches cleanliness: God (﷾) commands washing before prayer, "to make you clean". It teaches thanks for food. The Prophet (ﷺ) taught a boy at his table to mention the name of Allah (﷾) when he eats. The Qur'an says, "be grateful for the favours of Allah". Islam forbids waste: "eat and drink: But waste not by excess". It puts kindness to parents beside the worship of God (﷾). And the Prophet (ﷺ) said that whoever believes in Allah (﷾) and the Last Day must honour his guest. Japan has well-known customs that meet these values. At a shrine, visitors rinse their hands and mouth at a water font (temizuya). Itadakimasu, roughly "I humbly receive", is said before a meal. Mottainai, "what a waste", expresses regret at throwing away something valuable. Respect for the Aged Day honours the elderly. Omotenashi is careful hospitality to guests. Your friend may keep some of these. If so, tell them sincerely that you share the values behind them, because it is true. Then say gently where Islam differs. In Islam, each of these is part of worshipping the One Creator, who rewards it. The page "What does Islam share with Japanese culture?" goes through them one by one.
“O ye who believe! when ye prepare for prayer, wash your faces, and your hands (and arms) to the elbows; Rub your heads (with water); and (wash) your feet to the ankles. If ye are in a state of ceremonial impurity, bathe your whole body. But if ye are ill, or on a journey, or one of you cometh from offices of nature, or ye have been in contact with women, and ye find no water, then take for yourselves clean sand or earth, and rub therewith your faces and hands, Allah doth not wish to place you in a difficulty, but to make you clean, and to complete his favour to you, that ye may be grateful.”
Umar ibn Abi Salama reports that, as a boy in the Prophet's (ﷺ) care, his hand roamed around the dish while he ate. The Prophet (ﷺ) told him to mention the name of Allah, to eat with his right hand, and to eat from the part of the dish nearest to him. He says he kept to this from then on.
“So eat of the sustenance which Allah has provided for you, lawful and good; and be grateful for the favours of Allah, if it is He Whom ye serve.”
“eat and drink: But waste not by excess, for Allah loveth not the wasters.”
“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood."”
“And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.”
Abu Huraira reports that the Prophet (ﷺ) said: whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day must not harm his neighbour, must honour his guest, and must speak good or keep silent.
The Encyclopedia of Shinto describes the temizuya (also read chozuya) as a font near the entrance of a shrine, where visitors rinse their hands and mouth in symbolic purification. It says that rinsing there is a symbolic way of purifying body and mind before entering a sacred space, after which visitors go on to the main shrine.
Explains that itadakimasu, roughly "I partake" or "I humbly receive", is said before eating as thanks to those who provide the food and for the food itself, and that it can also be understood as thanks to the living things that become food.
A qualitative study of food waste in the everyday life of Japanese consumers, using mobile ethnography. It says mottainai, which can be translated "What a waste", expresses regret at throwing away something valuable, such as food or money, and stresses appreciation of food and its limits. The idea guided the participants to buy only what they needed, eat the leftovers and plan so that nothing went to waste.
The Act sets the purpose of each national holiday. Respect for the Aged Day (Keiro no Hi), the third Monday of September, is to respect and love the elderly who have served society for many years, and to celebrate their long life. Children's Day (5 May) is to respect children as persons, to seek their happiness, and to thank mothers. Greenery Day (4 May) is to draw close to nature and be thankful for its blessings.
Describes omotenashi as the Japanese way of hospitality: not only giving food and a safe place, but traditional ways of caring for guests. Its marks include understanding the guest's situation and needs, a carefully prepared setting (shitsurae), unobtrusiveness and modesty, and sensitivity.
“Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a new Life, a life that is good and pure and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions.”
Gentle words and real questions
The Qur'an tells Muslims to invite with wisdom and beautiful preaching, and to argue in the best way. It forbids them to revile what others call on besides God (﷾). The Prophet (ﷺ) told Aisha to be gentle, for God (﷾) loves gentleness in every matter. He said he was not sent to curse, but as a mercy. So never mock a shrine, a kami, a festival or a family custom. Kami are the sacred powers Shinto honours. Shinto priests and scholars say kami are not "gods" in the Western sense. Do not mock an omamori (a shrine charm) or an omikuji (a fortune slip) either. When it comes up, say plainly and kindly what Islam holds. All worship belongs to God (﷾) alone: "invoke not any one along with Allah". Take one point at a time, and stop when your friend has had enough.
“Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance.”
“Revile not ye those whom they call upon besides Allah, lest they out of spite revile Allah in their ignorance. Thus have We made alluring to each people its own doings. In the end will they return to their Lord, and We shall then tell them the truth of all that they did.”
Aisha reports that some Jews greeted the Prophet (ﷺ) with "death be upon you", and she cursed them in return. He told her to be gentle, for Allah loves gentleness in every matter. When she asked whether he had not heard what they said, he replied that he had answered them only with "and upon you".
Abu Hurayra reports that someone asked the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) to curse the polytheists. He answered that he had not been sent as one who curses, but as a mercy.
A Kokugakuin University paper on how kami is understood. It notes that kami is usually translated "god", but that it is often claimed that the Japanese word and the English word are quite different concepts, and it contrasts the monotheism of the Jewish and Christian tradition with the polytheistic ideas of Shinto.
A Kokugakuin University paper on the kami concept. It calls "God" an inapt translation of kami, and says the kami idea does not point to a principle or being apart from creation but to a quality of being that takes part in the unity of existence. It quotes Ueda Kenji that both the Nihon Shoki and the Kojiki speak of a preexisting substance from which the kami came to be. It reports Ueda Kenji's view that the earliest Japanese myths lack any creator deity.
“"And the places of worship are for Allah (alone): So invoke not any one along with Allah;”
Shrine and temple are not the same
Your friend's family may keep both Shinto and Buddhist customs. A shrine (jinja) is Shinto, and a temple (tera) is Buddhist. The kamidana is a household shrine for kami. The butsudan, the home altar for the family dead, is Buddhist. So is Obon, a time for remembering the family dead. Do not mix them up. Ask your friend what each custom means to them, and listen. God (﷾) made people into nations and tribes "that ye may know each other". The page "Can you follow Shinto and Buddhism at once?" explains the two side by side. If your friend's questions are Buddhist ones, the guide "How do I talk about Islam with Buddhists?" helps.
“O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).”
“Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance.”
Eating together
Sharing a meal is one of the easiest ways to talk. Your friend may want to know what you can eat. Explain halal simply: it means lawful, as Islam defines it. The Qur'an forbids pork, and it forbids intoxicants. Say why: God (﷾) commanded it, and a Muslim obeys Him out of trust. Never comment on what your friend eats or drinks. Before you eat, say bismillah, "in the name of Allah", as the Prophet (ﷺ) taught. Explain it if your friend asks. The Qur'an says, "Eat of the good things that We have provided for you, and be grateful to Allah". If you are unsure about a particular food, ask a qualified scholar.
“O ye who believe! Eat of the good things that We have provided for you, and be grateful to Allah, if it is Him ye worship.”
“He hath only forbidden you dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and that on which any other name hath been invoked besides that of Allah. But if one is forced by necessity, without wilful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits,- then is he guiltless. For Allah is Oft-forgiving Most Merciful.”
“O ye who believe! Intoxicants and gambling, (dedication of) stones, and (divination by) arrows, are an abomination,- of Satan's handwork: eschew such (abomination), that ye may prosper.”
Umar ibn Abi Salama reports that, as a boy in the Prophet's (ﷺ) care, his hand roamed around the dish while he ate. The Prophet (ﷺ) told him to mention the name of Allah, to eat with his right hand, and to eat from the part of the dish nearest to him. He says he kept to this from then on.
Ancestors: be honest
Your friend may ask about parents and grandparents who were not Muslim. Never promise, "You can pray for your grandparents' forgiveness." Give the answer the Qur'an gives. It speaks of those who joined others with God (﷾) in worship, even close family. It says it is not fitting for the Prophet (ﷺ) and the believers to pray for their forgiveness. The verse adds a condition: "after it is clear to them that they are companions of the Fire". So a Muslim does not ask God's (﷾) forgiveness for a relative who died outside Islam. That is a rule for his own prayers. It is not a verdict on the person. God (﷾) sends no wrath "until We had sent a messenger", and "Allah is never unjust in the least degree". No Muslim may declare any particular person's fate. That belongs to God (﷾). Then tell your friend the hopeful part. A person's deeds end at death, except lasting charity, useful knowledge and a righteous child who prays for him. If your friend becomes Muslim, that chain begins with them. Their own children's prayers, and their own lasting charity, can reach them after they die. The pages "How should we honour our ancestors?" and "What happens to people who never heard of Islam or of Jesus?" explain more.
“It is not fitting, for the Prophet and those who believe, that they should pray for forgiveness for Pagans, even though they be of kin, after it is clear to them that they are companions of the Fire.”
“Who receiveth guidance, receiveth it for his own benefit: who goeth astray doth so to his own loss: No bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another: nor would We visit with Our Wrath until We had sent a messenger (to give warning).”
“Allah is never unjust in the least degree: If there is any good (done), He doubleth it, and giveth from His own presence a great reward.”
Abu Huraira reports that the Prophet (ﷺ) said that when a person dies, his deeds come to an end except three: lasting charity, knowledge that people benefit from, and a righteous child who prays for him.
Family customs and kindness to parents
Your friend may fear that a Muslim must leave the family behind. Tell them that Islam does not ask anyone to turn away from their family. The Qur'an says that if parents urge a child to worship others besides God (﷾), he should not obey them in that. Yet he must still "bear them company in this life with justice". The Prophet (ﷺ) told Asma to keep good relations with her mother, who was not Muslim. The page "If I become Muslim, what happens to my family's customs?" explains what stays and what changes. Some questions depend on the case, such as a bow of greeting or a family funeral at a temple. For those, your friend should ask a qualified scholar.
“"But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that ye did."”
“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood."”
Asma, daughter of Abu Bakr, reports that her mother, who was still a polytheist (mushrika), came to visit her in the Prophet's (ﷺ) lifetime, hoping for her daughter's kindness. Asma asked the Prophet (ﷺ) whether she should keep good relations with her mother. He said yes: keep good relations with your mother.
If history or politics comes up
Do not bring up history, politics or the emperor yourself. Your aim is to talk about God (﷾), not to argue about the past or about governments. This holds for every country, your own included. If your friend raises the news, listen kindly. Say honestly that you would rather talk about faith, and return to the big questions. If your friend raises a wrong that some Muslims did, say plainly that it was wrong. Do not defend it, and do not blame anyone else. A faith is judged by its teaching, not by what some followers did. That fair rule holds for every faith. Islam's own law commands justice, "even as against yourselves". The Prophet (ﷺ) was told to say: "This is my way: I do invite unto Allah".
“O ye who believe! stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swerve, and if ye distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.”
“Say thou: "This is my way: I do invite unto Allah,- on evidence clear as the seeing with one's eyes,- I and whoever follows me. Glory to Allah! and never will I join gods with Allah!"”
“Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance.”
What not to use
Some arguments are weak or untrue. Leave them out, because a Muslim says only what he knows to be true (17:36). Do not argue from the ages of early emperors in the old chronicles, the Kojiki and the Nihon Shoki. Do not say that these books claim to be revelation. Shinto was first handed down through everyday customs, not through scriptures. Do not say that Shinto was borrowed from China, or that Japan once worshipped one God (﷾). Do not say that kami are angels. Do not say Islam completes Shinto or is its true form; lead with Islam's own answer. Say nothing general about Japanese people, kind or unkind: speak to the friend in front of you. And do not offer any famous Muslim's life as proof. The proof is the Qur'an and the Prophet (ﷺ), not what any follower did.
“And pursue not that of which thou hast no knowledge; for every act of hearing, or of seeing or of (feeling in) the heart will be enquired into (on the Day of Reckoning).”
The Encyclopedia of Shinto calls musuhi (musubi) the symbol of life and production, and says beliefs in it added new qualities to kami rooted in agriculture. It says Shinto was first a religious practice passed down as part of everyday customs, and did not depend upon missionaries and scriptures.
Pages to read together
This site has pages written for Japanese readers. Share the one that fits your friend. A friend who says they have no religion can start with "I'm Japanese and not religious: why consider Islam?" A friend who keeps shrine customs can read "Is there one Creator behind the kami?" Then try "Should we bow to the sun, or to the One who made it?" and "Does Shinto have a word from God?" A friend who worries about family can read "If I become Muslim, what happens to my family's customs?" Then read "How should we honour our ancestors?" together. "What does Islam share with Japanese culture?" suits everyone. For a friend who buys charms or draws fortune slips: "Do lucky charms and fortune slips work?" For a Buddhist friend, use the guide "How do I talk about Islam with Buddhists?" For a Christian friend: "What do Islam and Christianity have in common?" and "Is Jesus God?" With Christians, the Qur'an says to discuss only in the best way, and to say, "Our Allah and your Allah is one". To show your friend how Muslims wash and pray, use the site's guides to wudu and salah. For yourself, the site's Dawah guide sets out the whole method.
“And dispute ye not with the People of the Book, except with means better (than mere disputation), unless it be with those of them who inflict wrong (and injury): but say, "We believe in the revelation which has come down to us and in that which came down to you; Our Allah and your Allah is one; and it is to Him we bow (in Islam)."”
Islam's answer, and your part
In the end, invite your friend to Islam itself. Islam is a complete way of life (deen): belief, worship, law, family and character together. The page "What is Islam?" shows it in one place. The Qur'an asks to be tested: produce a chapter like it. It says the Prophet (ﷺ) was sent to all people, and calls him the Seal of the Prophets, the last of them. Your part is to speak clearly and kindly. There is no compulsion in religion, so the choice is your friend's. Who is better in speech than one who calls to God (﷾) and does good? Inviting is your part; guiding a heart is God's (﷾) alone. That is why, if your friend asks whether you are trying to convert them, the honest answer is no.
“This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.”
“O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy.”
“And if ye are in doubt as to what We have revealed from time to time to Our servant, then produce a Sura like thereunto; and call your witnesses or helpers (If there are any) besides Allah, if your (doubts) are true.”
“Say: "O men! I am sent unto you all, as the Messenger of Allah, to Whom belongeth the dominion of the heavens and the earth: there is no god but He: it is He That giveth both life and death. So believe in Allah and His Messenger, the Unlettered Prophet, who believeth in Allah and His words: follow him that (so) ye may be guided."”
“Muhammad is not the father of any of your men, but (he is) the Messenger of Allah, and the Seal of the Prophets: and Allah has full knowledge of all things.”
“Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things.”
“Who is better in speech than one who calls (men) to Allah, works righteousness, and says, "I am of those who bow in Islam"?”
“It is true thou wilt not be able to guide every one, whom thou lovest; but Allah guides those whom He will and He knows best those who receive guidance.”
What your friend may say
Qur'an 2:256 — Surat al-Baqara (The Cow), verse 256
“Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things.”
Cited for
Are you trying to convert me?
The response
No. I am making you aware of Islam, and we are just having a friendly discussion, not a debate. I cannot make anyone believe. The Qur'an tells even the Prophet (ﷺ) that he cannot guide everyone he loves, but God (﷾) guides whom He wills. It also says, "Let there be no compulsion in religion". So the choice is yours. Read, think and decide for yourself. If you decide Islam is not for you, I will say what the Qur'an teaches: "To you be your Way, and to me mine." Whatever you decide, I am still your friend.
Where it lands — The Muslim shares Islam in a friendly discussion and presses no one. The choice is the friend's, and if it is no, the friendship goes on.
Qur'an 6:108 — Surat al-An'am (The Cattle), verse 108
“Revile not ye those whom they call upon besides Allah, lest they out of spite revile Allah in their ignorance. Thus have We made alluring to each people its own doings. In the end will they return to their Lord, and We shall then tell them the truth of all that they did.”
Cited for
You think the kami and our shrine visits are wrong.
The response
I will not mock them; the Qur'an forbids Muslims to revile what others call on. I believe all worship belongs to the One who made everything, so I pray to Him alone. I invite you to think about Him too.
Where it lands — Respect for the person and a clear answer about worship go together.
Qur'an 23:115 — Surat al-Mu'minun (The Believers), verse 115
“"Did ye then think that We had created you in jest, and that ye would not be brought back to Us (for account)?"”
Cited for
I don't need a religion. I try to live a good life.
The response
A good life matters, and Islam values it. But who made us, and what comes after death? The Qur'an asks, "Did ye then think that We had created you in jest"? Islam is a way of life with the Creator at its centre. Whoever does good and has faith, He promises "a life that is good and pure".
Where it lands — Goodness is welcomed, and the question of who made us still stands.
Qur'an 7:158 — Surat al-A'raf (The Heights), verse 158
“Say: "O men! I am sent unto you all, as the Messenger of Allah, to Whom belongeth the dominion of the heavens and the earth: there is no god but He: it is He That giveth both life and death. So believe in Allah and His Messenger, the Unlettered Prophet, who believeth in Allah and His words: follow him that (so) ye may be guided."”
Cited for
Islam is for foreigners. I am Japanese.
The response
The Qur'an says the Prophet (ﷺ) was sent to all people: "O men! I am sent unto you all". God (﷾) made nations and tribes "that ye may know each other". The Qur'an counts the variety of languages among His signs. A Japanese Muslim keeps their family name, their language and their family.
Where it lands — The message was always for every people, Japanese included.
Qur'an 9:113 — Surat al-Tawba (The Repentance), verse 113
“It is not fitting, for the Prophet and those who believe, that they should pray for forgiveness for Pagans, even though they be of kin, after it is clear to them that they are companions of the Fire.”
Cited for
So your religion says my grandparents are in hell.
The response
For those who died outside Islam, a Muslim does not ask God's (﷾) forgiveness (9:113). That is a rule for his own prayers. It is not a verdict on your grandparents. The verse gives its condition: "after it is clear to them that they are companions of the Fire". The Qur'an also says God (﷾) sends no wrath "until We had sent a messenger" (17:15). He is "never unjust in the least degree" (4:40). No Muslim may declare any particular person's fate. That belongs to God (﷾).
Where it lands — Islam states its rule for prayer openly, and leaves each person's fate to a God who wrongs no one.
Qur'an 17:15 — Surat al-Isra (The Night Journey), verse 15
“Who receiveth guidance, receiveth it for his own benefit: who goeth astray doth so to his own loss: No bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another: nor would We visit with Our Wrath until We had sent a messenger (to give warning).”
Cited for
If my grandparents may be safe because no one told them, why are you telling me?
The response
We do not say they are safe or lost; that is for God (﷾), who knows what reached each person. But the message is now reaching you. The same verse says: "Who receiveth guidance, receiveth it for his own benefit: who goeth astray doth so to his own loss". I tell you because I believe it is true, and I want that good for you.
Where it lands — The message is a gift to whoever it reaches, and a choice for whoever hears it; God (﷾) judges each person justly.
Perspectives
What a friend may say: no religion
Some friends say they have no religion. They may still keep customs at New Year or at a funeral, and value good manners.
I have no religion, so Islam is not for me.
Rebuttal
Islam does not ask anyone to join an organisation. It is a complete way of life (5:3). It answers the questions everyone faces: who made us, and what comes after death. The Qur'an asks, "Did ye then think that We had created you in jest"? (23:115).
I visit a shrine at New Year and say itadakimasu, but those are manners and habit, not belief.
Rebuttal
Good manners and thanks are worth keeping. Islam asks to whom thanks and prayer are owed in the end: to the One who provides (16:114). So a Muslim begins a meal in His name (Bukhari 5376), and prays to Him alone (72:18).
What a friend may say: the kami
A friend who keeps shrine customs may say that kami are not "gods" in the Western sense. They may add that Shinto is lived through customs, not taught from scriptures.
Kami are not gods in the Western sense, so there is no clash with belief in one God.
Rebuttal
Whatever the word kami means, the question is who made everything. And to whom do prayer and offerings belong? The Qur'an tells people to prostrate to Allah (﷾), "Who created" the sun and the moon. It tells them to invoke no one along with Him (41:37; 72:18). Islam looks at the act, not the name: prayer and offerings belong to the Maker alone (6:162-163).
Shinto is lived through everyday customs, not through scriptures, so there is nothing to argue about.
Rebuttal
Customs still direct thanks and worship somewhere. So the question is whether the Maker has spoken. The Qur'an says it is from Him, and asks to be tested: produce a chapter like it (2:23).
The Islamic perspective
Invite with wisdom and gentleness, honestly and one point at a time. Start from the Creator and from what you share. Leave each person's fate to God (﷾), and leave the choice to your friend.
Muslims are told to invite with wisdom and beautiful preaching. They are told not to revile what others call on besides God (﷾).
God (﷾) loves gentleness in every matter, and the Prophet (ﷺ) was sent as a mercy, not to curse.
Islam teaches cleanliness, thanks for food, not wasting, kindness to parents and honour to guests. All are part of worshipping God (﷾).
A Muslim does not ask God's (﷾) forgiveness for those who died outside Islam (9:113). No one is punished before a messenger reaches them (17:15), and no Muslim may declare any particular person's fate.
Only what is known to be true is used: no one may claim what he does not know.
There is no compulsion in religion; the Muslim conveys, and the choice is the listener's.