“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.”
Islam is a complete way of life, and it speaks to family life as much as to prayer. Marriage is a blessing and an act of worship: a lifelong partnership of love, mercy and companionship, and the foundation of a family. The Prophet (ﷺ) encouraged young people who were able to marry to do so, and said that marriage is part of his way.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5066Sahih al-Bukhari 5063
Choosing a spouse
Look first for faith and good character. The Prophet (ﷺ) said people marry for wealth, family, beauty or religion, and advised choosing the one of good religion. It is also sunnah for a man to see the woman before proposing, and to pray istikhara (the prayer for guidance) before deciding.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5090Sahih Muslim 1424Sahih al-Bukhari 6382(istikhara)
A Muslim woman marries a Muslim man. A Muslim man may marry a Muslim woman, or a chaste Christian or Jewish woman.
What makes a nikah valid
Ridaconsent
Both the bride and the groom must freely agree. No one may be married against their will.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said a woman is not married without being asked and giving her permission. Sahih al-Bukhari 5136
Walithe bride's guardian
The bride is represented by her wali, usually her father, who looks after her interests. The Hanafi school allows an adult woman to conclude her own marriage.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said there is no marriage without a guardian. Sunan Abi Dawud 2085
Shuhudtwo witnesses
The marriage is made in front of two trustworthy Muslim witnesses, so that it is public and known.
Mahrthe marriage gift
The groom gives the bride a gift, agreed between them. It belongs to her alone. It can be money, jewellery or anything of value, and it does not have to be large. If none is named, the marriage is still valid and a fair mahr is owed.
“And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift” Qur’an 4:4
Ijab and qabuloffer and acceptance
The marriage is concluded when one side offers and the other accepts, clearly, in the same sitting.
The ceremony
A nikah is simple and can be held at a mosque or at home. Usually an imam gives a short sermon, the offer and acceptance are made before the witnesses, the mahr is named, and everyone makes dua for the couple. The Prophet (ﷺ) congratulated a newly married man with these words:
بَارَكَ اللَّهُ لَكَ وَبَارَكَ عَلَيْكَ وَجَمَعَ بَيْنَكُمَا فِي خَيْرٍ
Barakallahu laka, wa baraka ’alayka, wa jama’a baynakuma fi khayr
May Allah bless you, shower His blessings upon you, and bring you together in goodness.
Keep the marriage law of the country you live in, including its minimum age. In England and Wales, for example, no one under eighteen may marry, not even by a nikah alone. In many countries a nikah on its own is not recognised in law, so also register the marriage with the civil authorities. It protects both husband and wife.
The walimah
The walimah (wedding meal) is the joyful celebration after the nikah, sharing food with family, friends and the poor. The Prophet (ﷺ) told a companion who had just married to hold one, even with a single sheep. It does not need to be expensive.
A happy marriage
Marriage in Islam is built on kindness, respect and mercy on both sides. Husbands and wives have rights over each other: the husband provides for the family, and both are to be patient, forgiving, loyal and kind. The Prophet (ﷺ) said the best of you are those who are best to their families.
“live with them on a footing of kindness and equity.”